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This site is not quite done yet, but come back in about 2 weeks and it will be da bomb. Scroll down to see the rest of it. I guess it's not as bad as I make it seem. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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This is the jokes section. You can email me jokes at [email protected] if you find some good ones. You never know they just might end up here. 20 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PUBLIC BATHROOM STALL-MATE 1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "may I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say, "uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold." 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!" 6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of six feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get in there." 9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor's while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!" 11. Say, "Interesting............. more floaters than sinkers.'" 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of� toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?" 13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me now." 14. Fill a balloon with cream corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccini alfredo you had for breakfast. 15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." 16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" 17. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. 18. Before you un-roll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. 19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!" 20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free." A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain..." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I`m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say...," "And I said to keep quiet! You`re going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief`s at his daughter`s wedding. He`ll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don`t count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I`m the groom." | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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This is the poetry section. So far all the poetry in it is submitted by me, but feel free to email me your own stuff at [email protected], and your stuff just might end up here! | Dry Ink This pen is dry, it won't write And all my dreams are out of sight I had so much faith so much hope Now with all my problems how can I cope How can I get through another day With my life going this way I want to be a writer so bad But how it would make my parents sad My life as I know it would go down the drain Not even taking away any of this pain My life is over, it's done And this fight I haven't even won The fight to survive To make my dreams thrive In a way I've never experienced before But all my dreams are going out the open door How can I keep them to help them come true? Without letting people see I'm so blue All my feelings are coming to a stop Stopping so fast making my heart pop How can this ever be? When will the world see? A life without me? Mail your suggestions or comments to me at [email protected]
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